caligryphy ([info]caligryphy) wrote,
@ 2006-01-18 17:06:00
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From the FF.net review file... Posted in its entirety, because it is a big greasy blob of loveliness. Name Censored to protect the, ah... well.

"I deeply appologize for this review, but I have to explain.

Several nights ago, I had a nightmare that I was writing a story called "The phantom of the dungeons" with snape as the phantom, dumbledore as christine. Upon waking in a cold sweat at seven and realizing I was going to miss the bus if I didn't hurry up, I told my sister about my dream. And I was absolutely revolted at the idea of a snape/dumbledore. So revolted that I promised her that if I ever saw one, I'd read it, review it, and then curl up and die(not literally of course).

So I read your story. In all honesty your writing is excellent: There
are few gramatical errors, you have good phrasing, and a vocabulary that allows for rich descriptions and just a good piece of work.

However, The plot appauls me. Snape, and Dumbledore? I am sorry, but
that is revolting.

Please, though, keep writing, you have all of the mechanical functions
down (I am especially pleased at the lack of chatspeak), I will read
any other non Snape/Dumbledore work you have written and most likely
you'll get good reviews if you have a good plot (from me, at least).

Please do not be angry at my review, since you really are such a
talented writer. I wouldn't mind if you'd read and review my story (I'm *Censored*, the story is *Censored*--slight HermioneRemus slash but of course it's time travel!), because I do mean it when I say you are exceptionally talented."


Uh.

Thank you?

I'm going through and answering a bunch of Fourth Year reviews. For those not in the know, it's at Skyehawke now, and there's been a bit of tweaking (mostly at the end) that makes me happier. It will eventually go up here, when I get off my butt and post it. Until then, it can be found with the rest of My Skyehawke Stories.

(And no, I haven't forgotten Soft Place. I will not forget Soft Place, I swear. Give me time!)



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[info]bethbethbeth
2006-01-18 02:29 pm UTC (link)
You wrote Snape/Dumbledore? Did I read it? If not, I want the link!

(also...I want to know how this person wrote Hermione/Remus slash. Do they live in an alternate universe where het is slash? :))

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 02:35 pm UTC (link)
It's "And Never Been Kissed." Barely slash (it only got the mature rating because of OldGayManBeardKissing, I didn't want the little'uns to be traumatized). It's with my other stories at Skyehawke.

(I know! I read that and I was so tempted to buzz on over to her story and leave reviews of a made-up time travel fic where Remus traveled ahead to a futuristic society and Hermione had had a sex change. And maybe it'd be all Logan's Run, too.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Hermoine/Remus slash.... - (Anonymous), 2006-01-18 04:53 pm UTC
Re: Hermoine/Remus slash.... - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-19 10:37 am UTC

[info]painless_j
2006-01-18 02:32 pm UTC (link)
Heh, I may be strange but I always appreciate reviews like this. It's easy to charm an OTPer of the pairing you wrote, but to pursuade a person who doesn't like the pairing that your writing is still good, it's an achievement, of sorts :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 02:37 pm UTC (link)
It's cute, I think. It wouldn't be cute if she was mean about it. (And then that little part where she says she dashed out to get on the bus--sorry, that's adorable.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]pir8fancier
2006-01-18 02:35 pm UTC (link)
Ooohhh, you tweaked the ending? Races over to skyhawke.

Vis a vis review: can't understand why someone would read a story with a pairing that has them searching for a stray fork with which to immediately blind themselves. That's the first thing I noticed. The rest of it, I would take in the manner to which I think it was meant. She/he really likes you writing.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 02:39 pm UTC (link)
I added to the sex scene (wanted Severus to get a little action--now I don't know if it goes on too long or not, enh). Cleaned up some of the florid bits. It's not all that different, really (don't get your hopes up).

Oh, yeah, I'm not offended by the review. It was just kinda... buh? Okay.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cordelia_v, 2006-01-18 07:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-18 08:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fer_de_lance, 2006-01-18 08:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-19 10:43 am UTC

[info]tuff_ghost
2006-01-18 02:53 pm UTC (link)
(And no, I haven't forgotten Soft Place. I will not forget Soft Place, I swear. Give me time!)

hurrah!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 04:44 pm UTC (link)
*Mesmerized by the Disco Snape* Look at him go!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tuff_ghost, 2006-01-18 07:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-18 07:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nikita79x, 2006-01-18 10:14 pm UTC

[info]rexluscus
2006-01-18 03:09 pm UTC (link)
I too would like to praise you for not using chatspeak, and for the relative shortage of grammatical errors in your prose. You're also to be commended for getting the characters' names right (nice job changing all instances of "Orli" to "Harry" when adapting that Lotrips plot bunny for HP, for example). Keep up the good work! :)

(And no, I haven't forgotten Soft Place. I will not forget Soft Place, I swear. Give me time!)

Best news I've had all week!

*runs off to read enhanced "Fourth Year" sex scene*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 04:53 pm UTC (link)
Admit it. You totally write Hermione/Remus time travel slash.

Oi, Frodo/Sam slash is one thing. Don't make me get scared by Vorlijah or whatever they've got up to around those parts. (I'm a total weirdo, but RP slash--while very hot, occasionally--bothers me on a level that even watersports or pony play or any other strange fetish doesn't. *Lives behind the 'it's fictional!' curtain*)

Soft Place? Honestly, I've got five versions of a 'we're snuggling' scene. It's appalling. Have sex, you two! *Thwaps characters* They're doing it, this time, so help me.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rexluscus, 2006-01-18 09:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-19 10:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rexluscus, 2006-01-20 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-25 04:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rexluscus, 2006-01-24 09:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-25 04:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rexluscus, 2006-01-25 05:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-25 05:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ebonlock, 2006-01-20 08:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-25 04:37 pm UTC

[info]skuf
2006-01-18 03:10 pm UTC (link)
That's… some review, *snerk*.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 04:58 pm UTC (link)
Isn't it, though? *Puts it in the file*

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]schemingreader
2006-01-18 03:53 pm UTC (link)
Oooh. I didn't think The Fourth Year could get any better, but you really did improve it. Enhancing the description of their sexual encounter and sleeping together afterward framed everything so perfectly.

Plus I loved it that you let Harry be even more explicit and weepy about his fear that Severus would leave him.

I have read a lot of Snarry since I first read So Lonely Without Me. I don't know if you are the only one, but to me you are the best Snarry author at revealing the psychological underpinnings of their relationship.

That doesn't mean that I want you to stop writing A Soft Place because, come on, I'm in the fandom to read that story.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 05:00 pm UTC (link)
It needed a little extra padding. Still a few lumpy bits, but I'm happier. (And hell, lumpy bits are every story. I've never, ever managed to hone something down to its bare Hemingway bones and still like it.)

Thanks. :) Snape/Lupin, up next. Oh, and crossdressing Snarry (though that one might not be long--I'm shocked).

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]blackletter
2006-01-18 04:13 pm UTC (link)
But...but...I *love* Snape/Dumbledore! Oh well, to each his/her own.

"And Never Been Kissed" is such a lovely story. Dumbledore is adorable. If a story as sweet and romantic as that caused Reviewer to feel revolted I suppose I shouldn't go point her to [info]atdelphi's NC-17 Snape/Dumbledore.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 05:06 pm UTC (link)
Don't you just? Snapledore (I always want to call it Snappledore--I need to make an icon for that) is awesome. Their love is so canon.

Thanks--mine is one of the softest ones out there, I think. Delphi goes to (lovely, smutty) extremes that few people could. And she does it so beautifully--who knew I could like Snape/Filch, either? (But after reading hers, it totally makes sense.) I think my reviewer would've had a heart attack.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]gaycrow
2006-01-18 04:33 pm UTC (link)
I like the extra bit where Severus gets some action. I don't think it goes too long at all. It's the icing on the cake for me.

To think that Severus encourages Harry to touch his hair ... and Harry's shy response. I really love that part.

I haven't had the chance to re-read the whole story yet, but I like the slightly changed ending, even though I didn't think anything could improve this story.

Thanks for posting the new link and for including these extra yummy morsels.





(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 05:15 pm UTC (link)
Thanks. Mmm. Icing. *Is on diet* I have a lot less of a comfort level with sex scenes--I'm glad you were cool with it.

The rest of the story is more or less the same. A couple of words and phrases were very slightly tweaked.

Not a problem. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]txilar
2006-01-18 04:56 pm UTC (link)
(And no, I haven't forgotten Soft Place. I will not forget Soft Place, I swear. Give me time!)

*gives you time*

Music to my ears right. ^_^

Re the review, that's hysterical. It's the 'not literally of course' that did me in. I guess she put that in to assuage any assumed guilt you might incur lest someone die (especially if they chose to) by reading your story. DEATH BY FANFIC. Now that would put slash on CNN.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 05:26 pm UTC (link)
o_O <--I really like the little faces.

Oh, man, to be killed by fanfic? That would suck. It would be all over the O'Reilly Factor, they could all run stories about how it's corrupting the minds of pure, wholesome, young women...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]txilar, 2006-01-18 07:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-18 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]txilar, 2006-01-18 08:13 pm UTC

[info]chlorate
2006-01-18 07:27 pm UTC (link)
I just read The Fourth Year in its entirety and I have to say that I think you might be my favourite fanfic author, any fandom, hands down. Every time I read your writing I am just blown. away. I never feel like I understand Snape/Harry as well as when I read what you write about them, and you give their relationship so much more depth and scope than other stories... most of it is so subtle, oblique, I almost feel like I understand before I realize, if that makes any sense. I hope i'm not being grotesquely effusive but wow, I really do love your writing that much.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 07:49 pm UTC (link)
Wow, thanks! *Blush* Golly, shucks, and all that. I try to be a bit subtle about it--though sometimes I feel like I'm waving the big authorial fluffy hammer of love around to get them to behave. :)

I'm really glad you liked it so much. Thank you!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]joannindiw
2006-01-18 07:40 pm UTC (link)
Mmmm *chimes in* You've read it all before - but went over to read The Fourth Year, and was utterly mesmerized by the sex scene (thinking to myself - I don't remember *this*!)... Well, that and the entire story. The very end fit a bit better, too. ^^

And, er, did you mean for Snape to thinking about being sent to Newtgate? (maybe it's a HP in-joke I missed? I'm heretical and only managed to skim the books.. or maybe I need to get my eyes checked...)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 07:54 pm UTC (link)
Well, yeah, 'cause it's sorta new. *Must resist urge to pull the 'Hey, look, part of the story is new!' trick again* :)

(Yeah, it's less abrupt and wonky. It needed the patch job.)

Oh, no, it's not an in-joke--I once did 'The Beggar's Opera' and we learned about Newgate Prison. I figured the wizarding version of that would be Newtgate. Just me having fun, so far as I know.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joannindiw, 2006-01-19 03:53 pm UTC

[info]venivincere
2006-01-18 07:53 pm UTC (link)
HermioneRemus slash? Who had the operation? 0.o

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-18 07:55 pm UTC (link)
I'm saying Hermione. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]venivincere, 2006-01-18 08:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-18 08:17 pm UTC

[info]fer_de_lance
2006-01-18 08:22 pm UTC (link)
slight HermioneRemus slash

((laughing)) Gender-bending fic? I'm reaaaaaally resisting the urge to say to Censored Writergirl, "I do not think it means what you think it means." (Plus, "of course it's time travel"? Why "of course"? How does time travel equate with Remus-Hermione "slash"?)

I'm also amused by someone praising your vocabulary and then claiming to be "appauled" -- is that legal? It sounds religious, or possibly nautical... "I'll not tolerate mutiny on my ship! Appaul them!"

I agree with her, however, that you're exceptionally talented. :D

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-19 10:52 am UTC (link)
Apparently, some people do use slash to mean any non-canonical pairing (I was taken to school, see above)--but I'd equate them with... well... let's just say the word no longer means that anymore. Not to other slashers, at least, and most fen, I think.

The 'of course' killed me. 'OF COURSE it's time travel. OF COURSE.' I think so that she's not freaked out by the age difference--Hermione goes back into Remus' past or vice-versa. I could be wrong. I can't muster the curiosity to take a peek at the story.

Appaul is where they--oh, no, I was thinking of keelhauling. Oops. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ter369
2006-01-18 09:26 pm UTC (link)
[1] Somehow, I missed reading this Snappledore story.

[2] You revised The Fourth Year and I missed learning of that, too.

Thank you for the heads-up!

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[info]caligryphy
2006-01-19 10:53 am UTC (link)
I need an icon with two bottles of Snapple, one in beard and hat, one in robe with appropriate hair. *Love*

I just did it, just now! You've missed nothing! (It's still like homemade oatmeal--couple of lumpy bits, but ya get over it.)

*Bows*

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]xincinsin
2006-01-18 09:49 pm UTC (link)
I read the version with extra bits, then the version without again, and I like them both! Kind of makes me want to request version 3 if you just keep making them better and better :)

"Appaul" joins the list of misspellings/malapropisms/homonyms which I keep to amuse myself on nights when telly is boring. There are so many stories which have Sev holding "viles" of potions...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]xincinsin
2006-01-19 07:44 am UTC (link)
Oh, I forgot to ask: that bit you added in about Harry saying Scylla was Sev's family but he wasn't. Does that mean we've got Mpreg Snape (my mind is happily boggling over this) and poor Harry thinks he's just gaoler-cum-sperm donor?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-19 10:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caligryphy, 2006-01-19 10:55 am UTC

[info]ebonlock
2006-01-20 08:40 pm UTC (link)
(And no, I haven't forgotten Soft Place. I will not forget Soft Place, I swear. Give me time!)

We're holding you to this, just so you know ;)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]caligryphy
2006-01-25 04:42 pm UTC (link)
*Nods* Oh, I know. *Is actually working on it right now*

"His eyes lingered a fraction of a second too long. He suddenly wanted to toss Severus back onto his bed, turn him over, and lick the backs of his knees."

:)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ebonlock, 2006-01-25 05:01 pm UTC

[info]saridout
2006-02-01 09:47 pm UTC (link)
*snort* that review is priceless. there's really no way to respond to something like that O_o. btw, i'm a fan of yours from way back when So Lonely came out. it's one of my all time favorite snarrys (and that's saying a lot! i have very strict tastes). though i haven't read it yet, i've downloaded Fourth Year and am about to read it. So, er.... good luck? I'll let you know what i think. and though i tell all my favorite authors this and i rarely follow through, i will try to draw something for you in the near future :)

(Reply to this)


[info]athenakt
2006-04-25 05:08 am UTC (link)
Stopping by your journal because I just finished Soft Place and wanted to check and see if you've posted more of it.

Posting a reply to this older entry because you mentioned Soft Place.

Lolling at your feet because I enjoyed the story so much! *lolls*

Expecting that you'll wonder at my sentence structure. Hoping you'll accept that it's only my reviews that are screwed up.

Looking forward greatly to reading more from you in future!!

*lolls more*

(Reply to this)

If you did continue Soft Place anytime soon now
(Anonymous)
2006-04-28 10:46 pm UTC (link)
This anon would be so grateful! I was thrilled to see you had written a Snape/Lupin and I am loving it so far ...

(Reply to this)


[info]nesssachiel
2007-02-11 11:40 pm UTC (link)
hmmmm...did you get that time you needed? :)

please...update soon? It was really long tome since I like ANY story as much as that one.

:*

(Reply to this)


[info]aliciamasters
2007-10-22 10:20 pm UTC (link)
Much love your way! We've had a request on the Walking the Plank forum for your Snarry, to which I replied, "Wot! We don't had Fourth Year and So Lonely Without Me? Close the damn thing down, then!"

Okay, we didn't close it down, but it is a very sad archive without your fics. If you'd like a mod volunteer to upload them, I know several who've already raised their hands.

Thanks for considering it, either way!

(Reply to this)

re: Adorable Albus
[info]hohaiyee
2007-10-30 10:27 pm UTC (link)
Hi, I found your entry through Google. ...and while this pairing is most definitely not my cup of tea, since to me it's the magical gay version of James Bond and Her Majesty the Queen...I do like your fic. It's rather sweet.

...and Albus needs more self-esteem, even Spark Notes describe his character as being as adorable as his name.

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